# Has anyone else been shut down?



## Ozarker (May 19, 2017)

First, I thought I ran things in my castle. I thought wrong. The Queen informed me today that my lens buying days are over. I thought it rather rude as she did this while looking over my shoulder as I read the rumor thread about the 85L that is soon to be announced.

I've had a good run and got further along in the buying marathon than I ever thought I would. I am, however, already getting the shakes and sweats as the 85L announcement date draws ever closer.

I'd never buy a lens without the reviews and some time passing to see if it is all it is cracked up to be anyway, so will a cooling off period soften her iron fisted ruling?

Has anyone else been shut down?  Whatever did you do? The tone was most disturbing.


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## neuroanatomist (May 19, 2017)

Well, I've heard that it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. I've also heard that divorce lawyers are expensive…


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## Ozarker (May 19, 2017)

neuroanatomist said:


> Well, I've heard that it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. I've also heard that divorce lawyers are expensive…



More expensive than an 85L? Wow. I should have stayed in school.


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## Don Haines (May 19, 2017)

Fortunately for me (perhaps unfortunately) my S.O. is also a photographer and if I blow money on gear, she will borrow it.... That leaves me in the interesting situation where I have spent the money but do not have the goods.....


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## AlanF (May 19, 2017)

neuroanatomist said:


> Well, I've heard that it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. I've also heard that divorce lawyers are expensive…



I've also heard it said that it was the best money they ever spent.


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## hbr (May 19, 2017)

CanonFanBoy,

I feel your pain! Ouch! Maybe buying her some nice jewelry or something she would cherish would change her mind.

Brian

BTW, the man never rules his castle. He only thinks he does.


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## RunAndGun (May 20, 2017)

AlanF said:


> neuroanatomist said:
> 
> 
> > Well, I've heard that it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. I've also heard that divorce lawyers are expensive…
> ...



Why are divorces so expensive?

Because they're worth it. ;D


Like so many other things in life, you get what you pay for... 8)


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## IglooEater (May 20, 2017)

Well, what is more valuable to you, your marriage or your photography? If you know the answer to that, then the decision is easy. Not that buying it will cost you a divorce, but it certainly won't help things.


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## Hector1970 (May 20, 2017)

If I get run over by a bus I hope wife doesn't sell my gear for the price I told her I paid for it


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## hbr (May 20, 2017)

Hector1970 said:


> If I get run over by a bus I hope wife doesn't sell my gear for the price I told her I paid for it



So True! ;D


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## jd7 (May 20, 2017)

Don Haines said:


> Fortunately for me (perhaps unfortunately) my S.O. is also a photographer and if I blow money on gear, she will borrow it.... That leaves me in the interesting situation where I have spent the money but do not have the goods.....



Does S.O. stand for significant other or superior officer?


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## Don Haines (May 20, 2017)

jd7 said:


> Don Haines said:
> 
> 
> > Fortunately for me (perhaps unfortunately) my S.O. is also a photographer and if I blow money on gear, she will borrow it.... That leaves me in the interesting situation where I have spent the money but do not have the goods.....
> ...



Why can't it be both


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## Besisika (May 20, 2017)

hbr said:


> Hector1970 said:
> 
> 
> > If I get run over by a bus I hope wife doesn't sell my gear for the price I told her I paid for it
> ...


And what if she donates them all to the bus driver? Still so true?


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## Ozarker (May 20, 2017)

hbr said:


> CanonFanBoy,
> 
> I feel your pain! Ouch! Maybe buying her some nice jewelry or something she would cherish would change her mind.
> 
> ...



She's a low maintenance girl who'd be mad about that too.

When I tried to explain that I'm the head of the household she said, "That may be true, but I'm the neck that turns your head. No more lenses!"


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## Mt Spokane Photography (May 20, 2017)

I only buy camera gear as needed for my business to take product photographs, and use profits from sales for them.


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## hbr (May 20, 2017)

Ouch! As the song says, "I'm sure gonna miss her."


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## hbr (May 20, 2017)

Then she will never know that you have been lying all this time.


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## YuengLinger (May 20, 2017)

I continue to explore the outer limits. 

"Shut down"? Ha ha. Not yet. But since she realized a Big White costs as much as reroofing, we have a pause.


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## Eldar (May 20, 2017)

Get a room in the basement, where there are spiders (they seldom go there ...) and get enough units, so one to or from goes unnoticed


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## Sporgon (May 20, 2017)

Eldar has the right idea, have so much gear that they don't notice anything new. After all they do this to us all the time with handbags and shoes


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## chrysoberyl (May 20, 2017)

Surely you've considered selling some of your gear to offset the cost of the 85L. So, sell gear you want to keep on Ebay to yourself, using an alias.


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## unfocused (May 20, 2017)

Ah yes...grasshopper...let me show you the path to bliss.

1) Surrender any idea of "ruling" a roost or anything else. That is a path that only leads to discord and misery.

2) Separate Checking accounts is the first step on your journey. Happily accept more than half the responsibility for household expenses. Separate checking accounts are the foundation of harmony in all things.

3) Announce and acknowledge the purchase of one white lens. As long as you are never seen with more than one white lens in your bag you won't be unmasked. 

4) Always have Fed Ex hold your packages for pickup at the FedEx-Kinkos store. Boxes sitting on the front porch raise suspicions. 

5) All these things will help with concealment and misdirection, but they will not lead to freedom and bliss. That requires a much longer and more perilous journey. But having safely arrived at the other side, I can tell you it is well worth it. Let me tell you my tale, so that you may learn from the Zen master.

When we were first married, my wife knew nothing about cameras and I was ignorant of birds. 

Slowly, she began to teach me the way of the bird, and I began to lay the trap for her.

It began with a superzoom point and shoot: "I think you will enjoy this camera. It will take better pictures than your phone and with the zoom, you can get in closer, although the quality might not be ideal."

And with that, we were on the path. She found the little point and shoot convenient and while action shots weren't ideal, she was able to get in close enough to identify small birds.

Next came a superzoom with a viewfinder: "Here this will be easier to spot smaller subjects." I was giving her a first taste of the drug.

Next came a T3i. "Here, now you can change lenses and get better quality pictures." 

Shortly after, I purchased the 70-300 "L" freeing up my Tamron for her. "Go ahead and keep this lens with your camera, then you will have it when you need it."

She didn't realize it, but the spider was already calling to the fly.

The T3i was followed by a 70D -- easier to focus on those birds. And, here, why don't you use this push-pull 100-400 sometimes.

At that point, she was *******. Next came the 100-400 II and the Sigma 150-600 Contemporary. She hardly cringed at those purchases -- after all, I said, it was just updating the 100-400 and selling the old one and the 150-600 was inexpensive and would allow us both to shoot at the same time.

Fast forward to today. She has an 80D (and I will get her a 7DIII when it comes out) and monopolizes the 100-400 (be forewarned, this is one price you will pay).

But, the payoff has been beyond my wildest dreams. I have freely announced that "someday" I hope to purchase one of those big-ass lenses we see so frequently when we are out shooting. She laughs at the idea of her husband having "big equipment" but there is hardly a flinch. She is hooked. And, I have arrived at the promised land.


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## Ozarker (May 20, 2017)

unfocused said:


> Ah yes...grasshopper...let me show you the path to bliss.
> 
> 1) Surrender any idea of "ruling" a roost or anything else. That is a path that only leads to discord and misery.
> 
> ...



That is one great story about your adventures wandering in the wilderness. I too, dear brother, believed I would cross over to the other side. I too, believed I would pass over the river into the land of milk and honey.

Instead, that gleam on the horizon grew dark as I approached and turned into a stormy flood of water and mud. If only I had already purchased a 600 f/4L. Had I done that I could have looked far ahead and seen that the river I approached wasn't the Jordan at all. It is the river Styx that drowns portrait photogs and birders alike! Don't be tricked my brother! Get thee at the least a 600 f/4L so that you might see your way to glory. You've set no trap. No, the trap has been set for you! Run!

Get the Great White Whale now so that all others seem to be minnows afterwards. This is the path to enlightenment. Commit the greatest sin first, then all others become not so shocking. Then, perhaps, you will be allowed to strive through the pure waters of redemption.


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## IglooEater (May 20, 2017)

Unfocused, if my wallet were that deep, it would solve a lot more problems than just camera gear purchases...


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## unfocused (May 20, 2017)

IglooEater said:


> Unfocused, if my wallet were that deep, it would solve a lot more problems than just camera gear purchases...



You'd be surprised at how shallow my wallet is. 

We live in a 60-year-old house. I drive a seven-year-old truck. Live modestly. Don't drink. Don't subscribe to any premium channels. Couldn't care less about going to a pro-sports game or an overpriced concert. Buy every lens through the refurbished store when on sale and, pay for each lens/camera before I buy another. Just a matter of priorities.


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## KeithBreazeal (May 20, 2017)

I met a little 19 year old girl in a camera store. She had more gear than I did. 
When I found out she had a 4x5, I married her. That was 1974. 
My son came home after school and saw the Big White in my office and said "well, there goes my college tuition."
On his birthday, I gave him my 40D and a few kit lenses.
I follow in my dad's footsteps. 
After college graduation, my son married a girl that enjoys film photography.

We are all *******.


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## Deleted member 91053 (May 20, 2017)

CanonFanBoy said:


> First, I thought I ran things in my castle. I thought wrong. The Queen informed me today that my lens buying days are over. I thought it rather rude as she did this while looking over my shoulder as I read the rumor thread about the 85L that is soon to be announced.
> 
> I've had a good run and got further along in the buying marathon than I ever thought I would. I am, however, already getting the shakes and sweats as the 85L announcement date draws ever closer.
> 
> ...



No shoes, no dresses, no cosmetics, no new kitchen etc etc until your lens lust is satisfied! After all if you cannot have your toys why should she who must be obeyed?

If the bills are paid then anything left over is for your, or her, toys. If there is not enough left over then NO TOYS for either of you! Hence my "no dresses/cosmetics etc " comment. Men's toys are normally much more expensive so we have to be reasonable here - but Channel No.5 is hardly cheap! 

As you may have guessed - I am single!


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## Don Haines (May 20, 2017)

KeithBreazeal said:


> I met a little 19 year old girl in a camera store. She had more gear than I did.
> When I found out she had a 4x5, I married her. That was 1974.
> My son came home after school and saw the Big White in my office and said "well, there goes my college tuition."
> On his birthday, I gave him my 40D and a few kit lenses.
> ...



When I met her, she had WAY more camera gear than I did, and she deleloped slides and film, and printed! A match made in heaven, even though she did make me carry her 8X10


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## KeithBreazeal (May 20, 2017)

Don Haines said:


> KeithBreazeal said:
> 
> 
> > I met a little 19 year old girl in a camera store. She had more gear than I did.
> ...



Ah... 8x10  I spent the summer of '66 at Grant Studios in San Diego- all 8x10. Two words: contact prints.
I did have a passing thought- "how do I get this out in the field?" Beastly.


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## IglooEater (May 21, 2017)

unfocused said:


> IglooEater said:
> 
> 
> > Unfocused, if my wallet were that deep, it would solve a lot more problems than just camera gear purchases...
> ...


That describes me too, except that I'm in an apartment, and I only buy used. I don't smoke or drink, I don't have TV, period, the only pro sports game I've ever been to was because I was given the tickets for nothing. Last concert I went to was our local youth orchestra- I played second violin.
 cheers to savings! Have to admit I've got an amazing camera combo, even if I don't have a house yet XD


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## lion rock (May 21, 2017)

Sob stories here.
A nice change from nonMirror or A9's. Refreshing.
I guess no one has try whining incessantly yet. Sometimes it works .
-r


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## Gribok (May 21, 2017)

I realize that this thread is mostly for fun, and is indeed a refreshing change of pace from the normal stuff, but I actually think what my wife and I do is pretty reasonable, and works for us really well.

We have multiple savings accounts for various (big ticket) things that we want to spend money on, things like "vacation", "house improvements", "new car",... you get the idea. And, we also have two extra accounts, one for her and one for me. We sat down one time and decided how to divide our monthly "savings" into all of the little accounts that we have, and we gave ourselves $200 each (per month) to go into our "individual" savings accounts.

I was very clear that my account is strictly for photography. Hers? She can do whatever she wants with it. Wanna buy an expensive new wardrobe? Go ahead! New shoes? Kick it! Some crazy nonsense from a designer furniture store? Go for it!

Me? I upgraded my 5D Classic to the 5D4 last year and the $3300 came from my savings account. Before that, I've been busy buying glass at a rate of about once per year before a somewhat long stretch to get to afford the new body. I skipped 5D2 and 5D3 (for various reasons), but I knew I'd upgrade to the 5D4 long before it came out.

My wife isn't a photographer, but she went with me when I got the camera at a local authorized dealer in person. She could tell how crazy excited I was about it, and she was happy for me.

When someone reacts to my explanation by saying that $200 is a lot of money, I usually ask them how much was their phone and cable bill last month.

The best part about this setup is it makes it easy to be honest not only with your partner, but with yourself as well! 

P.S. We originally started with $100/mo each, but I quickly realized that wasn't going to be enough.
P.P.S It's amazing how much my wife can buy for what I spend on photography gear (and still have a bunch left in the bank).


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## Hillsilly (May 21, 2017)

An 85L would allow you to take very nice photos of her and/or her children. Doesn't she want nice photos of her kids? What kind of mother is she?


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## hbr (May 21, 2017)

Hillsilly said:


> An 85L would allow you to take very nice photos of her and/or her children. Doesn't she want nice photos of her kids? What kind of mother is she?


  ;D


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## hbr (May 21, 2017)

lion rock said:


> A nice change from nonMirror or A9's. Refreshing.



Wholeheartedly agree! 8)


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## meywd (May 21, 2017)

Hillsilly said:


> An 85L would allow you to take very nice photos of her and/or her children. Doesn't she want nice photos of her kids? What kind of mother is she?



My method of proving that photography gear is a good investment


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## unfocused (May 21, 2017)

Gribok said:


> ...We have multiple savings accounts for various (big ticket) things that we want to spend money on



That's actually very similar to what we do. I believe there is an important psychological benefit to these kinds of arrangements. Studies show that money is the number one thing that couples argue about. With this arrangement, you are partners in ordinary household expenses (split fairly), but each person has some autonomy over their own money and their own buying decisions. I know it may not work for everyone, but it works for us and it apparently works for you as well.


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## ExodistPhotography (May 21, 2017)

CanonFanBoy said:


> Has anyone else been shut down?  Whatever did you do? The tone was most disturbing.



I make money from my photography. So no my wife has not tried to shut me down. But in typical wifey fashion she does complain.. But I quick reminder of the new car in the drive and all the other perks she gets. Normally quiets her down for a day or so.. LOL..


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## KeithBreazeal (May 21, 2017)

ExodistPhotography said:


> CanonFanBoy said:
> 
> 
> > Has anyone else been shut down?  Whatever did you do? The tone was most disturbing.
> ...



I once added up the cost of her horse and included pasture fencing, shelter, trailer, tools, care items, feed, vet bills, shoeing, etc. It was a bit depressing.


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## lion rock (May 21, 2017)

In the end, it is not a question of the spouse putting the hold on purchasing anything. It is a question of income/expenditure/"saving for future/rainy-day". If that is satisfied, the extra can be set aside for purchase of any toy one desires, big whites, Bentley or vacation homes. True, the family should each have a fairly equal share of said fund. An LV here, a 2 carat diamond ring there should be a 1DXII plus a 200-400 with 1.4x!
-r


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## Luds34 (May 22, 2017)

unfocused said:


> Don't drink.



Ehhh, I was tracking and feeling ya until this one.  

Lord only knows how much money I spend each month on happy hour, bloody's at lunch, beer on a patio, keeping the liquor cabinet well stocked, even my beer brewing hobby. But each penny is a penny well spent I say. I read a solid book the other year (Stuffocation) which covers a number of topics, trends, history, etc. but basically boils down to spend your money on experiences. And frankly, I can think of plenty of experiences that are enhanced with a drink in hand. ;D


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## IglooEater (May 22, 2017)

KeithBreazeal said:


> ExodistPhotography said:
> 
> 
> > CanonFanBoy said:
> ...



Learn barefoot trimming. You can do it yourself, and arguably can be better for the horse's health, saving on vet bills XD


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## takesome1 (May 22, 2017)

CanonFanBoy said:


> neuroanatomist said:
> 
> 
> > Well, I've heard that it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. I've also heard that divorce lawyers are expensive…
> ...



Much more expensive. In most states you would loose half of year gear and pay for the lawyer.

My suggestion is this. 
The best way to handle this problem is to send one of the lenses you do not like off for repair.
When the box you shipped it in returns with the 85L in it just pretend it is the repaired lens.


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## KeithBreazeal (May 22, 2017)

takesome1 said:


> CanonFanBoy said:
> 
> 
> > neuroanatomist said:
> ...



Master class!


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## Ozarker (May 22, 2017)

ExodistPhotography said:


> CanonFanBoy said:
> 
> 
> > Has anyone else been shut down?  Whatever did you do? The tone was most disturbing.
> ...



Off topic: I've watched a number of your videos on YouTube... very fun and informative


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## Ozarker (May 22, 2017)

Why is it I get the sneaking suspicion some of you tough talkers are in the same boat as me?

Update: The Queen took my testicles out of the baby food jar she keeps them in, and loaned them to me. It was nice to have them back for a few hours. She usually does that when she wants me to mow the yard and change her oil.

They and the jar are sitting on the mantle until she needs something else.


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## Valvebounce (May 22, 2017)

Hi CanonFanBoy. 

  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D where the hell is the laugh till I cried emoji? I would hazard a guess that a lot more of us can identify with this than would freely admit to it! 

I feel your pain, loving some of the devious ideas put forwards, particularly the send for repair option, not so keen on the eBay and buy back idea, have to pay fees on the sale and the purchase! 
My advice, if you love your wife (significant other), learn the phrase "yes dear," use it and bide your time, an oprtunity will arise at some point. 
Of course if you didn't love her you would have bought the lens and let her divorce you! 
I hope your wife doesn't read CR!   ;D

Cheers, Graham. 




CanonFanBoy said:


> Why is it I get the sneaking suspicion some of you tough talkers are in the same boat as me?
> 
> Update: The Queen took my testicles out of the baby food jar she keeps them in, and loaned them to me. It was nice to have them back for a few hours. She usually does that when she wants me to mow the yard and change her oil.
> 
> They and the jar are sitting on the mantle until she needs something else.


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## Sporgon (May 24, 2017)

CanonFanBoy said:


> Why is it I get the sneaking suspicion some of you tough talkers are in the same boat as me?
> 
> Update: The Queen took my testicles out of the baby food jar she keeps them in, and loaned them to me. It was nice to have them back for a few hours. She usually does that when she wants me to mow the yard and change her oil.
> 
> They and the jar are sitting on the mantle until she needs something else.



You've had all the advice from this thread that you need to get out of this mess.......


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## KeithBreazeal (May 24, 2017)

It's all about tactics...

Wife: "Is that a new lens?"
Me: "No, I've had it for a while but don't use it much." "Oh, is that a new purse?"


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## Jack Douglas (May 24, 2017)

This has been good for a laugh on a rainy day!

Funny, it was my wife that "pushed" me into the 1DX2 plus 400DO II and she volunteers to carry the gear on our hikes. My conscience still bothers me. 

Jack


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## cayenne (May 24, 2017)

CanonFanBoy said:


> First, I thought I ran things in my castle. I thought wrong. The Queen informed me today that my lens buying days are over. I thought it rather rude as she did this while looking over my shoulder as I read the rumor thread about the 85L that is soon to be announced.
> 
> I've had a good run and got further along in the buying marathon than I ever thought I would. I am, however, already getting the shakes and sweats as the 85L announcement date draws ever closer.
> 
> ...



You need to remember the "golden rule":

He who makes the most Gold.....
....makes the Rules.



HTH,

cayenne


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## Don Haines (May 24, 2017)

KeithBreazeal said:


> It's all about tactics...
> 
> Wife: "Is that a new lens?"
> Me: "No, I've had it for a while but don't use it much." "Oh, is that a new purse?"



It is about tactics.....

She is about to get a 5D4.... how do I convince her to let me borrow it?


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## GMCPhotographics (May 25, 2017)

neuroanatomist said:


> Well, I've heard that it's better to ask forgiveness than permission. I've also heard that divorce lawyers are expensive…


True, but also very liberating.....though expensive.


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## KeithBreazeal (May 25, 2017)

She bought a SL1 and a couple lenses for the trip to Ireland.
Now she is eyeing my M5.
It's hopeless.


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## hne (May 26, 2017)

I haven't had an argument about money in close to 10 years because of this:

Make a household budget. Anything that is bought because of need is included (food, one pair of glasses, medicines, ...). Anything you buy because you want it goes into your respective private budgets, governing private accounts: cameras, shoes, musical instruments, bags, birthday gifts, I'd-rather-eat-out-than-bring-lunch-box-today.

Introduce the concept with "It will increase the surprise when I order a gift for you since you won't risk seeing the transaction in the bank statement before delivery!"


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## Sporgon (May 26, 2017)

hne said:


> I haven't had an argument about money in close to 10 years because of this:
> 
> Introduce the concept with "It will increase the surprise when I order a gift for you since you won't risk seeing the transaction in the bank statement before delivery!"



But if that gift's a 5DIV and she doesn't do any photography ?


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## KeithBreazeal (May 26, 2017)

Or the wife buys you a new piece of gear for Christmas and asks to borrow it a week later.
Was it something she actually wanted?
Sometimes I think it's more like a game of Chess more than anything else.


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## hbr (May 26, 2017)

I have been following Jack Douglas' photos and the new gear he has. His wife must be much more tolerant than my wife! Jack, are you sure you are not single? ;D ;D ;D

My wife's work slows down in the wintertime so she usually goes back to Vietnam to visit her aging mother. I made an agreement with her that I could spend the amount she spends on her trip to buy my photography equipment. Having separate bank accounts and her being out of the country and can't see the delivery trucks also helps a lot!

Brian


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## Larsskv (May 26, 2017)

I saw the risk of being shut down when I decided to get the 1DXII. Long story short, my wife never noticed the difference between the 1DX (that I bought used) and the 1DXII (that I paid for with the help of a credit card). When I bring out the 1DXII when friends are around, she will in good faith tell them I bought that giant of a camera used from a press photographer. :


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## Jack Douglas (May 26, 2017)

Larsskv, I think that's a dangerous game! 

Brian, I'm not single, never have to cook but get my supper every night (albeit usually late) in front of the TV for news or NHL and my dear wife helps carry the gear. Her philosophy is I have to have good gear. So, without her I'd never have felt comfortable buying what I have (guilty conscience for spending what most people raise their eyebrows at, at least in my circle).

You better believe I'm thankful and try to do the chores I'm asked to do! 

Jack


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## RGF (Jun 1, 2017)

minimize the gas, trade up and show the cost. Buy less and support her dreams. She should not give them up for your hobby


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## R1-7D (Jun 1, 2017)

RGF said:


> minimize the gas, trade up and show the cost. Buy less and support her dreams. She should not give them up for your hobby



Support HER dreams? What about a little give and take? If your spouse cares, they will support you and your hobbies as well. 

From watching close friends use that philosophy I have bared witness to some of the most selfish succubuses around take advantage of their love and generosity. 

Relationships are a two way street.


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## RGF (Aug 10, 2017)

R1-7D said:


> RGF said:
> 
> 
> > minimize the gas, trade up and show the cost. Buy less and support her dreams. She should not give them up for your hobby
> ...



I am not saying not get support. But for the moment show you care, that your interests are not the only interests, you will get support. Takes time - depends upon how many years she has silently been simmering.

For how many years have you taken and she has given? Perhaps it is time to let her feel she is important


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## cayenne (Aug 10, 2017)

RGF said:


> R1-7D said:
> 
> 
> > RGF said:
> ...



Honestly I don't know WHY more married couples don't have separate banking accounts.

Seems to just make sense.
You have one account both have access to...and both contribute to this for common household bills, savings, etc.

Then, each has their own private account, and each month from the community pool, each gets $$ to spend as they wish.

You can then save all you want and buy what you wish and no explanation need be given...you may save and save and save and buy a $3K lens. She may save, or just spend constantly on little things...whatever floats your boat, but neither one get to commend on what the other spends with their private "mad money".

This just seems to be a given as an easy way to do this.

I'd also say...write it up and you both sign it and agree with it. Make it formal.

C


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## SteveM (Aug 10, 2017)

I remember a guy in the UK, about a year ago, felt his wife was unsympathetic.
He put her up for sale on eBay, bids got to £65,880 in two days before eBay took the listing down.
Good story, worth googling.


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## canon1dxman (Aug 10, 2017)

Far from shut me down, Mrs 1dxman gave me half the cost of my new mark 2


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