# OT-photography and (incurring the wrath) of our better halves



## willrobb (Jan 17, 2012)

OK, not sure where to post this o sorry about putting it here as it's a bit off from the usual topics....

So, somewhere I think we've all been at one time or another (or a few hundred times) with our better halves. Sometimes we get a bit carried away with photography and our other halves get a bit put out right?

I'll start off with one my wife has never let me forget. It was 2008, our first trip to Europe together and we went to Paris. On our first night we went to the Eiffel tower and all the other couples were having their photo taken together with the tower in the background and being very romantic. I possibly (well, definitely) spent a bit too much time photographing the tower with the tripod, DSLR, cable release etc and sort of grudgingly took some couple shots with a point and shoot....I know, it was bad of me and I've never lived it down. 

In my defence though, I sort of made up for it by taking very very few photos on our honeymoon to Bali last year.....the Paris incident often comes up as soon as we are talking to people about travel though, next time I go I am not taking a camera at all.

Wonder if anyone else has stories like this? I'm sure there will be one or two...


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## neuroanatomist (Jan 17, 2012)

Once again, let me offer the same advice as in regards to carry-on gear: kids. It may annoy her when you want to buy another lens, or go on a trip or even a walk outside with a big dSLR and a bunch of lenses. But if you're doing that to capture memories (hint: call it that, not just 'taking pictures') of _her_ child(ren), the tolerance level goes way, way up.


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## Kahuna (Jan 17, 2012)

;D and I thought I was the only one! 

Since I have no kids and capturing the moments doesn't work, in order to save my marriage and gain a bit of "tolerance", and to keep my toys off Ebay, I bought my wife her dream car for Christmas... I feel I have lost all dignity at times..


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## Canon Rumors Guy (Jan 17, 2012)

It took me 8 months to get the M9 approval.

She's glad now, it's a lot lighter in her purse than a full fledged DSLR


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## wickidwombat (Jan 17, 2012)

LOL I'm in the very fortunate situation where my wife is a photographer too. So i dont get hammered for taking too many photos or spending ages on holiday taking photographs, we usually plan our holidays around shoots , however if i make a hash of the exposure or balls up a composition especially if she is the subject then I better look out! Does keep you on your toes though. the other thing that can generate heated discussion is when i buy lenses and gear without prior approval... I'm still trying to get my story straight for the 600mm FD....


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## Meh (Jan 17, 2012)

My ex-wife was the center of attention in her own mind and expected me to take pictures of her (only her) everywhere we went so that we could capture and relive the memories for years to come. I never got a single complaint for any gear I wanted, all I had to do was explain all the new and unique photos of her we could take.


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## bigblue1ca (Jan 17, 2012)

I'm fortunate like wickidwombat that my better half is a photographer as well, so when we go on vacation we're both on the look out for great shots together. Although we try and avoid taking the same shots, but as everyone knows a little creativity can go a long way so the same scene looks completely different. As for equipment purchases, she's pretty good, she laughs at me every time I'm browsing on B&H or reading reviews etc and asks me what I'm going to buy next. I'm certainly not complaining as she gave me the green light to get the 1DX when my photography budget allows it this year.


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## Orangutan (Jan 17, 2012)

neuroanatomist said:


> But if you're doing that to capture memories (hint: call it that, not just 'taking pictures') of _her_ child(ren), the tolerance level goes way, way up.



I'd like to suggest that Neuro's concept can be extended generally. If you can present the photography as being to her benefit, you will gain tolerance. Some want a chance to show off the trip to friends; others might want a lovely print of themselves for the office wall. You know those parts of a long flight where you're too tired to do anything useful but can't fall asleep? Use those bits to think up ways to make images she'd like to have. It helps if you remember the conversations where she told you about telling her friends about the trip, and which friends those were.....You *do* remember, don't you?


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## dppaskewitz (Jan 17, 2012)

I must say: my wife is very tolerant of my photography. So long as she isn't around. Her kid and my kids (not the same) are grown, so Neuro's suggestion, while excellent, doesn't help me. I have tried to get her interested in photography. A few years ago, we went to Yosemite over New Year's. I set her up with my 30D and the 28-135. I think she took some very credible shots. But she says she doesn't want to be bothered carrying around a big camera. So, I bought her a small Canon point and shoot. She will take some shots on occasion, but not enough to give me time to set up and do what I want to do. And, she always has Paris to remind me of (Honeymoon, I took at least one photo of the Eiffel Tower every day we were there, I never went shopping with her and she incurred a broken arm outside the Louvre, which we didn't get checked out until we got home). On the plus side, she did buy me a 24 TS-E (I, not II, which I don't use nearly enough). And she is OK when I go out for a weekend on my own. But, it is a fine balance when we take a vacation together.


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## willrobb (Jan 17, 2012)

My wife comes up with creative concepts for portrait shoots we do and acts as second shooter at events and weddings, so she's pretty good when it comes to me buying anything camera related, in fact she's the one who is often pressuring me to buy new gear instead of second hand...but when we are traveling and there is no "official" work to be done and I spend a bit too long taking photos of something she is like "it's not for work, so stop taking so bloody long." Have to say though, recently on trips she spends more time taking photos than me...hope it continues ;D


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## Ryusui (Jan 17, 2012)

The only wrath I fear from my better half is not letting her get the more expensive lens for her camera first.


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## elflord (Jan 18, 2012)

willrobb said:


> Wonder if anyone else has stories like this? I'm sure there will be one or two...



I got our first DSLR (rebel XS) as a present for my wife because the point and shoot was worse than useless for indoor portraits of our (at the time) baby daughter. She never really learned to do much more with it besides compose the shot and press the button, but I caught the bug. I think she's reasonably pleased that I've picked a hobby that doesn't break the bank (not yet), put anyone in unnecessary danger or discomfort, or cut into family time. 

I've since picked up a panasonic GF2 as a more compact camera for her, upgraded myself to a 5D Mk II. And the old point and shoot ? My 2 year old daughter loves it.


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## Meh (Jan 18, 2012)

Ryusui said:


> The only wrath I fear from my better half is not letting her get the more expensive lens for her camera first.



But surely you both shoot Canon... so what's yours is hers, no? And what's hers is hers, yes?


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## acoll123 (Jan 18, 2012)

I bought my 5DII in December 2010. My wife jokingly said that if was going to spend that much money on a camera I should use it everyday. So starting in January 2011, I did. Since then, I have taken a photo a day (I have missed about 4 days though). Photography is just a hobby for me but doing the POD thing has really improved my skills and (after the first month or so) forced me to keep my eyes open for original and unique subjects. I made a hardcover book in Aperture of the "top 100" photos and gave it as a gift to my wife this past Christmas.


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## D.Sim (Jan 18, 2012)

willrobb said:


> OK, not sure where to post this o sorry about putting it here as it's a bit off from the usual topics....
> 
> So, somewhere I think we've all been at one time or another (or a few hundred times) with our better halves. Sometimes we get a bit carried away with photography and our other halves get a bit put out right?
> 
> ...



You could always incorporate your couple shots with your landscape shots... take some without the two of you (to "test" the scene), then shoot another for memories (as neuroanatomist has said), with the two of you in there. You can even get artsy with that bit if you want, and it could net you a better shot!

That said, personally I'd get your other half involved as well, shoot together, get her feedback, even ask her "how would you frame this shot (with us inside)", etc. Make it an event for the two of you... and you'll enjoy it. (Even get her (or him - for the women out there) a camera for themselves too - who knows, it could be useful.


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## willrobb (Jan 18, 2012)

D.Sim said:


> You could always incorporate your couple shots with your landscape shots... take some without the two of you (to "test" the scene), then shoot another for memories (as neuroanatomist has said), with the two of you in there. You can even get artsy with that bit if you want, and it could net you a better shot!
> 
> That said, personally I'd get your other half involved as well, shoot together, get her feedback, even ask her "how would you frame this shot (with us inside)", etc. Make it an event for the two of you... and you'll enjoy it. (Even get her (or him - for the women out there) a camera for themselves too - who knows, it could be useful.



I mostly do have these angles you suggested cover now. When traveling always do a few scene shots to check the ambient light, get some shots of us both.....and then spend a bit more time taking more scenery shot ;-)

My wife uses one of our 5DmkII's, she just takes the grip off. Just picked up an S100 and I can see her using that a lot more.


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## 7enderbender (Jan 18, 2012)

willrobb said:


> OK, not sure where to post this o sorry about putting it here as it's a bit off from the usual topics....
> 
> So, somewhere I think we've all been at one time or another (or a few hundred times) with our better halves. Sometimes we get a bit carried away with photography and our other halves get a bit put out right?
> 
> ...




Actually, I don't think I really have stories like that. And I'm not really sure what you did wrong. How much time did she get to spend in Paris doing something that you could care less about? Maybe the proverbial shoe shopping (which I personally don't mind even since that can make for, err, interesting pictures back in the hotel room - but that's for another day)? And why is it a good thinkg to have fewer pictures from your honeymoon? I don't get it.

My wife actually encourages me to spend some time on the things I deeply care about, including photography. She knew that she was marrying a bit of geek and gear head. And I encourage her to do more of her thing (writing in her case). That's all fine as long as you keep an eye on your time budget together as a family - and on the monetary budget, especially if one person's passions are significantly more expensive than the other's (guitar and camera gear in my case - bad bad combo of interests).

The latter problem I solve by paying myself a kind of allowance for these things but is also used for other things, like vacation expenses, little things here or there or paying some unexpected bill.

But this was mostly about the time management, so I guess everyone can develop their own strategies there as long as both sides understand the importance of doing something for your own sanity short of signing up for some ashleymadison.com account...which is where things often end up if even taking a few once-in-a-lifetime shots in Paris turns into a big deal.


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## Ryusui (Jan 18, 2012)

Meh said:


> Ryusui said:
> 
> 
> > The only wrath I fear from my better half is not letting her get the more expensive lens for her camera first.
> ...


Is there ever any other way? ;D


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## thepancakeman (Jan 18, 2012)

Meh said:


> Ryusui said:
> 
> 
> > The only wrath I fear from my better half is not letting her get the more expensive lens for her camera first.
> ...



Yes (I'm in the same boat) but then we end up arguing who gets to use which lens!


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## bigblue1ca (Jan 18, 2012)

thepancakeman said:


> Meh said:
> 
> 
> > But surely you both shoot Canon... so what's yours is hers, no? And what's hers is hers, yes?
> ...



I haven't eliminated that problem, but I helped minimize it. Early on she expressed an interest in macro photography, so I bought her the 100 2.8 macro and a book on it to help her interest grow. So that she's looking for all things small and not looking to use my 70-200 or 16-35 very often.


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## Ryusui (Jan 18, 2012)

That's funny...my wife is really interested in macro, too.

I see an MP-E in our future, shortly...


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