# Dumbest/Most Regrettable Utterances



## YuengLinger (Dec 18, 2020)

When it comes to portraits, anybody can eventually master camera and lighting techniques. But, for me, it's the freaking people-skills that continue to be just out of my reach too much of the time.

Take this morning for instance. My son's teacher was very proud of her holiday outfit, so I offered to take her photo. She was very happy, as she has seen my work over a few years. We went out to the breezeway, early morning, beautiful transition light under the overhang...

Now, let me say, she is quite overweight, and though outgoing, clearly sensitive about her appearance. She was in a great mood, so I asked her to remove her mask while I stepped about eight feet back (still wearing mine!), and gave her a few posing suggestions. You know, please turn your right shoulder to the camera a little, don't hold your hands in front, just let your arms relax by your sides...

I got a quick set of 3/4 body shots, excellent expression, great light. And then I went and spoiled it.

"Ok, that's the best I can do," I said. She looked crushed.

WTF was I thinking? Ok, I was in a rush, and I did NOT mean the best I could do with her, or for her, but in the time I had. I don't know. This stuff just blurts out. AAAAAAAArggggggggghhhhhhhhh

Hopefully the quality of the photo will ease the sting.

95% of the time, I'm suave enough, humorous, disarming...But this kind of ^%&* keeps happening.

So, who else would like to share the dumbest and/or most regrettable things you have ever said to a subject? Please, be honest! Reveal your darkest moments!


----------



## Ozarker (Dec 19, 2020)

YuengLinger said:


> When it comes to portraits, anybody can eventually master camera and lighting techniques. But, for me, it's the freaking people-skills that continue to be just out of my reach too much of the time.
> 
> Take this morning for instance. My son's teacher was very proud of her holiday outfit, so I offered to take her photo. She was very happy, as she has seen my work over a few years. We went out to the breezeway, early morning, beautiful transition light under the overhang...
> 
> ...


LOL! Yesterday. The wife wants some pics of herself in a particular dress. I say, 
"Sure!, but please go get a haircut first. " She's not had a haircut since last winter when the pandemic started. Thankfully I hadn't mentioned she should shave the legs and pits too. lol


----------



## Valvebounce (Dec 19, 2020)

Hi YuengLinger. 
This is why I don’t do portraits, console yourself with the knowledge I’d have said something dumber and then just kept digging! 
That and I don’t have the artistic flair for posing people to get the best looking shot!
Things like this are unfortunate, you didn’t say it with malice, and the fact that you were upset about it speaks volumes about your nature. 
Shit happens, life is too short to spend it carefully examining every word lest we upset someone. ‍

Cheers, Graham. 



YuengLinger said:


> When it comes to portraits, anybody can eventually master camera and lighting techniques. But, for me, it's the freaking people-skills that continue to be just out of my reach too much of the time.
> 
> 
> "Ok, that's the best I can do," I said. She looked crushed.
> ...


----------



## tron (Dec 19, 2020)

YuengLinger said:


> ...
> 
> "Ok, that's the best I can do," I said. She looked crushed.
> 
> ...



I am not expert with people skills too but while reading this relaxed I thought how it could be probably saved at least a little:

If you continued the phrase like this: .... with the equipment I have!


----------



## Valvebounce (Dec 19, 2020)

Hi Tron. 
The problem with that is if you pause for just a split second and they catch it you are then already “still digging” and my experience is it spirals out of control real fast from there!

Cheers, Graham. 



tron said:


> I am not expert with people skills too but while reading this relaxed I thought how it could be probably saved at least a little:
> 
> If you continued the phrase like this: .... with the equipment I have!


----------



## tron (Dec 19, 2020)

Valvebounce said:


> Hi Tron.
> The problem with that is if you pause for just a split second and they catch it you are then already “still digging” and my experience is it spirals out of control real fast from there!
> 
> Cheers, Graham.


I agree and as I said: reading this relaxed! In reality of course it is different. 

P.S I dont' do portraits too!


----------



## AlanF (Dec 19, 2020)

Valvebounce said:


> life is too short to spend it carefully examining every word lest we upset someone. ‍♂


I can think of someone who follows that rule on Twitter with a vengeance. On the other hand, scores of lesser individuals have been brought down by their Twitter goofs.


----------



## Joules (Dec 19, 2020)

AlanF said:


> I can think of someone who follows that rule on Twitter with an vengeance. On the other hand, scores of lesser individuals have been brought down by their Twitter goofs.


Well, there is a difference between accepting language and tone are difficult and flawed so that it is impossible to guarantee that everything you say is understood in exactly the intended way by everyone e... 

... and being unable to even properly comprehend the meaning of one's words and emphasize with the response they may provoke in fellow human beings.

Of course, there are a number of psychological circumstances that can lead to the second thing. And so it can't inheritently something to judge people on - it only becomes truly bad in my eyes when a person affected by this isn't even making a best effort to acknowledge and prevent it.


----------



## Lucas Tingley (Dec 19, 2020)

ive just skipped portrait photography all together, partially for this reason(mostly)

a three day hike by myself where i dont see another human for three days would be my kind of paradise!


----------



## Bert63 (Dec 20, 2020)

At least you didn’t say “I’ll be able to fix these in Photoshop...”


----------



## JustUs7 (Dec 20, 2020)

“...In this light.” Just keep that one in the hip pocket for emergencies.


----------



## Aussie shooter (Dec 20, 2020)

One of the many reason I shoot animals. They dont get upset with anything I say.


----------



## StoicalEtcher (Dec 20, 2020)

Aussie shooter said:


> One of the many reason I shoot animals. They dont get upset with anything I say.


That's what you think..... 
If only you could understand them..... some can be quite catty !!


----------



## Del Paso (Dec 20, 2020)

It happened in Brittany, on a cliff, me using a Leicaflex SL 2 with its quick-focusing 560mm tele and extender.(physically VERY long lens !!!).
I was trying to get some good shots of a puffin's nest, when I heard the following comment by passers-by.
She: what is he taking pictures of ?
He; naked women, of course...


----------



## ethanz (Dec 20, 2020)

Del Paso said:


> It happened in Brittany, on a cliff, me using a Leicaflex SL 2 with its quick-focusing 560mm tele and extender.(physically VERY long lens !!!).
> I was trying to get some good shots of a puffin's nest, when I heard the following comment by passers-by.
> She: what is he taking pictures of ?
> He; naked women, of course...



That is what I use my big big lens for, don't you?


----------



## YuengLinger (Dec 20, 2020)

I need to use extra care. Since March, I've been the stay at home dad, and even with the kids in school part of the day, so few people are interacting face-to-face, I've really lost some level of social skills.

I think I've actually started thinking out loud--talking to myself!--when other adults are present. And being with kids and just my wife 99% of the time nine months now, anything comes out.


----------



## ethanz (Dec 21, 2020)

YuengLinger said:


> I need to use extra care. Since March, I've been the stay at home dad, and even with the kids in school part of the day, so few people are interacting face-to-face, I've really lost some level of social skills.
> 
> I think I've actually started thinking out loud--talking to myself!--when other adults are present. And being with kids and just my wife 99% of the time nine months now, anything comes out.



You sound like a fun person to be around.


----------



## Del Paso (Dec 21, 2020)

ethanz said:


> That is what I use my big big lens for, don't you?


Sure, but don't tell my wife...she is still waiting for my wonderful pictures of puffins.
PS: I just ordered an RF 800mm plus 2X extender for "birding" .


----------



## ethanz (Dec 21, 2020)

Del Paso said:


> Sure, but don't tell my wife...she is still waiting for my wonderful pictures of puffins.
> PS: I just ordered an RF 800mm plus 2X extender for "birding" .



I got you covered: https://www.pexels.com/search/puffins/


----------



## StoicalEtcher (Dec 21, 2020)

ethanz said:


> That is what I use my big big lens for, don't you?


I prefer to get close enough to be able to use a wide-angle


----------



## Sporgon (Dec 21, 2020)

StoicalEtcher said:


> I prefer to get close enough to be able to use a wide-angle


Huh, most of the women I meet you have to use a wide angle.


----------



## zim (Dec 21, 2020)

Sporgon said:


> Huh, most of the women I meet you have to use a wide angle.


Well with that ol line crossed i take it your lady friends don't frequent CR!


----------



## AlanF (Dec 21, 2020)

ethanz said:


> I got you covered: https://www.pexels.com/search/puffins/





Del Paso said:


> Sure, but don't tell my wife...she is still waiting for my wonderful pictures of puffins.
> PS: I just ordered an RF 800mm plus 2X extender for "birding" .


Too long: 400mm on 5DIV.


----------



## dwarven (Jan 14, 2021)

I used to be very socially awkward until I started working in a library. We're constantly trained on interpersonal communication techniques. Mostly to prevent staff from getting shanked by hobos I suppose. When I'm taking pictures of someone I usually keep it to "very nice, beautiful, great, awesome, whoa that looks good" (even when you mess up a shot) etc... it's short and sweet, and very corny, and cliche things for a photographer to say. But in the moment, your subject will always believe it.

Very different from taking pictures of animals, which usually includes plenty of f-bombs when you miss the shot.


----------

